Posts Tagged computers

Greatest Hits

Hey gang,

I thought I would take this time between Christmas and New Year’s to look back at where the blog has been over the course of 2011 and share a couple of the more popular posts. I started brainforthought.com in March and so many people said things like, “Who the hell do you think you are?” and “That old blog won’t amount to nothing! Now you get back to mining that coal, young lady!” But the blog has been very fun and I’ve picked up some blog pals along the way.

In addition, I was very proud to have a piece was picked up by Splitsider. So kick back in your robes and slippers and enjoy Please Reset Your Password.

______________________________________________________________

 (Originally Appeared on http://www.splitsider.com, September, 2011)

Your Password Has Expired. Please Reset Your Password In Accordance With Company Policy.

User ID: PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Contain One Of The Following: One(1) Capitol Letter,  One Number(1-9),  One Symbol (@, #, %, ETC.)

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Not Match Last Ten (10) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  New Company Policy: Password Must Not Match Last Twenty (20) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Birthdays Are Not Allowed. Identity Theft Concern.

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Are Anniversaries.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Is The Date Of Losing Your Virginity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Spouse’s Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names Backwards.

I’m A Computer. I Can Figure It Out.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Pet Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Not Even Fish. Especially Betas.

It’s A Worthless Animal.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Fourth Grade Teacher Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No College Girlfriend’s Names.

Are You Still Hung Up On Veronica ?

She Died In A Car Wreck, You Know ?

You Didn’t ?

Sorry.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Nothing Inspirational.

This Is Work.

You Should Feel Awful All Day.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>   No Tributes To Veronica.

It’s Morbid And Weird.

Despite Its Ups And Downs, You Have A Good Marriage. Celebrate That.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  Wow.  That Was A Harsh One.

I Didn’t Realize Things Had Gotten That Bad With Your Marriage.

But Even If That’s True About Your Wife, That Password Didn’t Contain A Number.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Can Be Interpreted As Profane.

From Webster’s Dictionary: (Noun) The Wrinkles Of A Scrotum,  Or (Noun) A Large Antelope

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Palindromes.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No French Kings.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Asian Land Wars.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Ben Affleck Movies.

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Ben Affleck Movies.

You Actually Saw Paycheck ?

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That’s a Ben Affleck Movie!

It Is Too!

He’s One Of The Basketball Players When Kristy Swanson Kills The Vampire At The Game.

It’s An Uncredited Role, But That’s Him.

It Is Not Unfair.

I Don’t Care What You Think.   Dem’s Da Rules.

___________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That Was Just Straight Up Racist.

What ?

Wait,   I Thought You Were Venezuelan.

Really ?

Hmmmm…..

Then I Guess You Can Use That Word. My Apologies.

Password Accepted.

You Can Now Access The Payless Shoe Store Computer System.

Advertisements

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6 Comments

Please Reset Your Password

(Originally Appeared on http://www.splitsider.com, September, 2011)

Your Password Has Expired. Please Reset Your Password In Accordance With Company Policy.

User ID: PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Contain One Of The Following: One(1) Capitol Letter,  One Number(1-9),  One Symbol (@, #, %, ETC.)

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Not Match Last Ten (10) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  New Company Policy: Password Must Not Match Last Twenty (20) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Birthdays Are Not Allowed. Identity Theft Concern.

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Are Anniversaries.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Is The Date Of Losing Your Virginity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Spouse’s Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names Backwards.

I’m A Computer. I Can Figure It Out.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Pet Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Not Even Fish. Especially Betas.

It’s A Worthless Animal.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Fourth Grade Teacher Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No College Girlfriend’s Names.

Are You Still Hung Up On Veronica ?

She Died In A Car Wreck, You Know ?

You Didn’t ?

Sorry.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Nothing Inspirational.

This Is Work.

You Should Feel Awful All Day.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>   No Tributes To Veronica.

It’s Morbid And Weird.

Despite Its Ups And Downs, You Have A Good Marriage. Celebrate That.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  Wow.  That Was A Harsh One.

I Didn’t Realize Things Had Gotten That Bad With Your Marriage.

But Even If That’s True About Your Wife, That Password Didn’t Contain A Number.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Can Be Interpreted As Profane.

From Webster’s Dictionary: (Noun) The Wrinkles Of A Scrotum,  Or (Noun) A Large Antelope

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Palindromes.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No French Kings.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Asian Land Wars.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Ben Affleck Movies.

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Ben Affleck Movies.

You Actually Saw Paycheck ?

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That’s a Ben Affleck Movie!

It Is Too!

He’s One Of The Basketball Players When Kristy Swanson Kills The Vampire At The Game.

It’s An Uncredited Role, But That’s Him.

It Is Not Unfair.

I Don’t Care What You Think.   Dem’s Da Rules.

___________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That Was Just Straight Up Racist.

What ?

Wait,   I Thought You Were Venezuelan.

Really ?

Hmmmm…..

Then I Guess You Can Use That Word. My Apologies.

Password Accepted.

You Can Now Access The Payless Shoe Store Computer System.

, , , , ,

19 Comments

What Happens When I’m Bored.

So, I was sitting at home on a day off, and found myself a little bored. I turned on my PlayStation 3 and opened Playstation Home when I actually intended to open Playstation Store. For those of you who don’t know, PS Home is a social networking platform where you select an avatar and a username and you can interact with other people’s avatars by chatting, playing games, etc.

One feature of PS Home is that you determine every feature of your avatar: sex, clothing, hair color, and so on. I decided to make my avatar a hot, blonde lady who is dressed to go for a jog. Once you create your character, you go to a common area that is between a bunch of buildings and in the middle of this area, is a fountain with lounge chairs and benches.

Upon entering the common area, I noticed that the ratio of male to female avatars was about ten to one, with all of them dressed like they’re on their way to a Godsmack concert. Within one minute of entering, I found myself circled by about eight of these characters while I’m trying to launch a zombie survival trivia quiz. During the quiz, a little chat window kept popping up with things like “U look HOT!!!!”, and “Dmn, I want to touch UR bobs”. Bobs not boobs. Nobody disrespects me, much less my bobs.

So I exit the quiz and decide to chat with one of the nice young men named Brazxxx1254. I would like to think that he is a devout Catholic and the 1254 is his tribute to the year that Pope Alexander IV succeeded Pope Innocent the IV, but I ‘m sure it’s just another sexual hand position which I am not privy to. Here’s a transcript of our exchange:

Brazxxx1254: Look at U grl!

Me: Thanks. He he he.

Brazxxx1254: How old R U?

Me: 23. U?

Brazxxx1254: 19

Me: Where U from?

Brazxxx1254: Texas

Me: Me 2! Where?

Brazxxx1254: Austin

Me: Me 2!

Brazxxx1254: You should come to my house.

Me: I don’t know.

Brazxxx1254: I’ll treat you good.

Me: He he he. I think you should visit me.

Brazxxx1254: I can do that.

Me: You’ll have to come between 6 and 8.

Brazxxx1254: Why? Boyfriend?

Me: No. Those are visiting hours.

Brazxxx1254: WTF?

Me: Hospital visiting hours.

There’s a couple of minutes of silence

Me: Hello?

Brazxxx1254: What’s wrong with you?

Me: Nothing.

Brazxxx1254: Y are you in the hospital?

Brazxxx1254: Work there?

Me: No. I meant there’s nothing wrong with me as a person.

Me: But I have a shattered pelvis.

Me: That’s probably what you meant.

Brazxxx1254: OMG! Are you ok?

Me: Keeping my chin up.

Brazxxx1254: How did it happen?

Me: Drunk driving accident.

Brazxxx1254: That sucks. I hpe that guy burns in h@ll.

Me: Who?

Brazxxx1254: The drunk driver.

Me: I was the drunk driver.

Me: Don’t H8.

A couple of minutes of silence

Me: You sound cute.

Brazxxx1254: I gotta go.

Me: Why? The drunk driving thing?

Brazxxx1254: Yes

Me: That’s just great. I’m trying to rebuild my life.

Me: It seemed like we had something between us.

Brazxxx1254: Sorry, but you should go to jail.

Me: I am in jail. On the inside.

Me: But no, I probably will go to jail.

Brazxxx1254: Later.

Me: Listen. I logged on to escape the pain.

Brazxxx1254: Sorry. Leave me alone.

Me: Great. Thanks for cutting my heart in two.

Brazxxx1254: Peace.

Me: In two! Just like I cut that Dodge Caravan with my Ford Taurus.

Silence

Me: I still can’t believe my old piece of sh@t got up to 120!!!

Brazxxx1254: Please stop.

Me: Ok. I’ll stop. But if you want to visit me, just ask the front desk for the drunk driver.

Me: They’ll know who UR talking about.

Brazxxx1254 has logged off.

Powdogg54: You rockn that body!

Me: He he he.

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41 Comments