Greatest Hits

Hey gang,

I thought I would take this time between Christmas and New Year’s to look back at where the blog has been over the course of 2011 and share a couple of the more popular posts. I started brainforthought.com in March and so many people said things like, “Who the hell do you think you are?” and “That old blog won’t amount to nothing! Now you get back to mining that coal, young lady!” But the blog has been very fun and I’ve picked up some blog pals along the way.

In addition, I was very proud to have a piece was picked up by Splitsider. So kick back in your robes and slippers and enjoy Please Reset Your Password.

______________________________________________________________

 (Originally Appeared on http://www.splitsider.com, September, 2011)

Your Password Has Expired. Please Reset Your Password In Accordance With Company Policy.

User ID: PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Contain One Of The Following: One(1) Capitol Letter,  One Number(1-9),  One Symbol (@, #, %, ETC.)

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Password Must Not Match Last Ten (10) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  New Company Policy: Password Must Not Match Last Twenty (20) Passwords

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Birthdays Are Not Allowed. Identity Theft Concern.

Please Try Again

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Are Anniversaries.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Neither Is The Date Of Losing Your Virginity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Spouse’s Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Kids’ Names Backwards.

I’m A Computer. I Can Figure It Out.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Pet Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Not Even Fish. Especially Betas.

It’s A Worthless Animal.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Fourth Grade Teacher Names.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No College Girlfriend’s Names.

Are You Still Hung Up On Veronica ?

She Died In A Car Wreck, You Know ?

You Didn’t ?

Sorry.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Nothing Inspirational.

This Is Work.

You Should Feel Awful All Day.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>   No Tributes To Veronica.

It’s Morbid And Weird.

Despite Its Ups And Downs, You Have A Good Marriage. Celebrate That.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR>  Wow.  That Was A Harsh One.

I Didn’t Realize Things Had Gotten That Bad With Your Marriage.

But Even If That’s True About Your Wife, That Password Didn’t Contain A Number.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Profanity.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Can Be Interpreted As Profane.

From Webster’s Dictionary: (Noun) The Wrinkles Of A Scrotum,  Or (Noun) A Large Antelope

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Palindromes.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No French Kings.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Asian Land Wars.

_________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> No Ben Affleck Movies.

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> Again, No Ben Affleck Movies.

You Actually Saw Paycheck ?

__________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That’s a Ben Affleck Movie!

It Is Too!

He’s One Of The Basketball Players When Kristy Swanson Kills The Vampire At The Game.

It’s An Uncredited Role, But That’s Him.

It Is Not Unfair.

I Don’t Care What You Think.   Dem’s Da Rules.

___________________________________________________________________

User ID:  PRSMITH

PASSWORD:  **********

<ERROR> That Was Just Straight Up Racist.

What ?

Wait,   I Thought You Were Venezuelan.

Really ?

Hmmmm…..

Then I Guess You Can Use That Word. My Apologies.

Password Accepted.

You Can Now Access The Payless Shoe Store Computer System.

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  1. #1 by Lafemmeroar on December 27, 2011 - 11:37 am

    lol Payless sure is strict about accessing their site.

    • #2 by brainforthought on December 27, 2011 - 11:38 am

      The power one wields at Payless is incomprehensible to us mere mortals.

  2. #3 by becca on December 27, 2011 - 4:44 pm

    Love that ending!

  3. #5 by Jason on December 29, 2011 - 7:55 am

    I’ve read this a few times now and I still can’t figure out the word that Mr. Smith true to use that is defined as the wrinkles on a scrotum.

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