Things I Would Have Liked to Have Seen in X-Men First Class

Let me just start by saying that X-men was a very enjoyable movie. It was way better than X3 or Wolverine and I preferred it to Thor(by no means meaning Thor was bad). The movie had a lot of fun in a different age of comic books, but made it click with modern audiences. That being said, there are some things I would have liked to have seen in Matthew Vaughn’s fine film:

– A 45 second apologetic walk on from everyone involved in X-Men Origins Wolverine, where they would allow a small group of baboons to abuse their genitals while they sang “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.

– When Professor X is helping everyone adapt to their fledgling powers, he suggests Rose Byrne practice her form on the Slip N Slide in a bikini. This would be 20% of the movie.

– Dan Aykroyd as Uncle Roman. He would shoot Beast in the butt with a shotgun, leaving his butt bald and giving him something to develop another formula for. This sets up a sequel nicely.

– A few name drops of the title. For instance:

Professor X: We have to stop Sebastian Shaw!

Angel: That’s why they call us X-men, First Class!

Professor X: What? Who are you? You have insect wings and you call yourself Angel? More like Cicada Lady. And you’re a stripper? I guess your mutant power is the $10 lap dance. Somebody make sure to wipe the gonorrhea off the couch after she gets up.

Banshee: But professor….

Professor X: I said do it, gingerbread!!!

– A clip of Sarah Palin to find out if she thinks this is how the Cuban Missle Crisis occurred. FYI She does.


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  1. #1 by I am Miss Independant on June 23, 2011 - 9:07 am

    EXCELLENT!!! love this haha!

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