Signs That You Have a Sleazy Head Coach

Over the last couple of years, some major college programs have had some lapses in ethics, resulting in their programs being stripped of their accomplishments and causing frustration in some, but not all, of their fans. Here are some signs that your favorite college program may be on the wrong path:

– Your starting quarterback has a 401k.

– During every game, the referees wink at him and ask “How was that call, Todd?”

-He’s cheating on his mistresses.

– From 2005 to 2009, his resume reads “Sith Lord / Friend of Rick Pitino’s”.

-Before every road game, he has to check that state’s statute of limitation laws.

– After a touchdown, instead of high fives, he gives out traveler’s checks.

-Your football team travels by jetpack.

– He thinks “The Karate Kid” is a cautionary tale about not listening to your sensei.

– You’re pretty sure that the starting middle linebacker is the missing bengal tiger from the zoo after he eats the other team’s mascot, Gallopin’ Pete.

– During a nasty collision, one of the members of the women’s lacrosse team yells out “Ow, my balls and prostate!!!”

– Sitting courtside next to Ashley Judd? Satan.

– He wins an NCAA championship.

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