Signs that you weren’t meant to be a doctor

 

  • Every six weeks, your attending physician orders you to practice pap smears on frozen turkeys.
  • You find it more interesting to give human hearts to baboons.
  • Your Grey’s Anatomy nickname would be “McNegligence”.
  • You keep promising families that you can bring their deceased children back to life.
  • You cuddle with the coma patients.
  • Three different times you have tried to help an amnesia patient regain their memories by hitting them on the head with a shovel.
  • As payment, you accept gift cards to Olive Garden.
  • Before delivering news of a death to a family, you start by saying “Sex. Now that I have your attention…”
  • You vomit from all the blood in an episode of MASH.
  • You wish WebMD would tone down all the technical talk.
  • Every time you make an incision, you pinch your nipple and cry
  • You refuse to stop drawing the Little Dipper by connecting the dots on patients’ genital warts.
  • You fill out twenty toe tags at the first of each month just to save time.
  • You’ve been known to exclaim “There’s a LEFT ventricle now?”
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