Press Release, by British Petroleum

Hey Todd,

Got your email regarding the anniversary of the “spill” in the Gulf and what we positives we can distribute through a press release. Here are just some ideas:

1) We gave a lot of hippies a break from looking for jobs that pay for a philosophy degree. Now they have vital duck cleaning skills. LOL

2) This one’s serious: Invite Martha Stewart’s show down to Mobile for a week and have her invent a dessert called “Tar Balls”. Enough sugar and Southerners will eat it. Or black saltwater taffy.

3) Let’s try to be the lesser evil. Have a gang of animals(otters, pelicans, dolphins, etc) in front of a cracked nuclear reactor with the caption “You can’t scrub off thyroid cancer”

4) How about brutal honesty? We need to defend our offshore drilling, so we could have a commercial with the dad from That 70’s show saying “You want $4 dollar gas? No? Then screw Pensacola! It’s just two Holiday Inns and a Perkins anyways.”

5) Do nothing. People forget really fast.

Want to go to Perkins tonight?


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