Archive for March, 2011

Starting Off

I’ll have some more stuff up soon and keep ’em coming on a regular basis. Thanks for all the views and emails.

 

Warren

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From the desk of….

From the desk of Rep. Todd Hunsicker,

 March 1, 2011

Dear Ms. Abernathy,

First of all, let me say, what a great day to be a Texan. Second, I would like to thank you and nearly 9,000 others who delivered me to Washington as your weapon against the ever-expanding government and socialist way of life. I have heard your voice and I am planting the flag of freedom on the steps of our nation’s capitol.

As you know, I was part of a mandate spawned by the American people to rip the yokes of oppression off of our free-market, American way of life. As part of this, I have fought bravely to reduce government spending while not sacrificing our security and inalienable rights.

After many sleepless nights and intense debates, my colleagues and I found ourselves unable to draft a budget that maintained basic civil defense and kept our great state competitive for attracting big business. No matter how we sliced it, we always came in over budget by $41,000, which is approximately the cost it takes to educate and provide medical care for your son Tyler. I think you see where I’m going with this.

I know this must be difficult for you to hear, but effectively immediately, Tyler is no longer considered a part of our state budget. While this may be hard to accept, it is even more difficult to explain $41,000 a year to educate a young man who has shown little promise in the classroom and even less improvement in his scoliosis.

This was not an easy choice for us. It came down to Tyler and a young boy from Corpus Christi with an intense stutter. However, after the Oscars, I feel that this would be ignoring the American people’s sympathies.

Please accept my apologies and God bless Texas,

Todd Hunsicker

Representative and Patriot

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From the desk of Rep. Todd Hunsicker,

 March 5, 2011

Dear Ms. Abernathy,

I appreciate your response to my letter. It saddens me to inform you that this decision has already been made and no sad pictures or letters from “doctors” stating that Tyler’s condition should improve can change that. Sometimes we must accept what we are told, and I have been told to make this country great again. I intend to do that one Tyler at a time.

Please accept my apologies and God bless Texas,

Todd Hunsicker

Representative and Patriot

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From the desk of Rep. Todd Hunsicker,

March 9, 2011

Dear Ms. Abernathy,

I applaud your tenacity.

This issue is dead. As dead as the chances of your son’s spine to never resemble a snake.

This is Texas. The Lone Star State. This is the land of football titles and Gatorade baths, not the land of the assisted shower.

Please accept my apologies and God bless Texas,

Todd Hunsicker

Representative and Patriot

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From the desk of Rep. Todd Hunsicker,

March 12, 2011

Dear Ms. Abernathy,

Bravo. Well-played.

As you may know, I have resigned my position as a representative of our great state. It is not only a sad day when a champion of the people is forced to abandon his fight, but even sadder when the confidentiality of a glory-hole is compromised by a nosy housewife with a smartphone.

Even though you chose to glamorize single parenthood, I’m sure Tyler will find a way to become a productive member of society, presumably at the expense of an honor student.

God bless Texas,

Todd Hunsicker

President of the Texas Southern Praise Group

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